MANILA, Philippines – Hoy, Dara! Kamusta na? (Trans: “Hey, Dara! How are you?”)
I am happy to report that we are enjoying fabulous weather here in our beloved Philippines — sweltering to a fault, practically hellish at times, but lovely all the same. Thanks for asking! #WelcomeHomeDara I say to you, but please do lather on the sun screen, we wouldn’t want to ferry you home with a sunburn. Papa YG doth not prescribe a bronzed concept for our porcelain princess, a look that did find success with Yubin from the Wonder Girls but hardly on anybody else. A strange factoid, but oh well — climate change is real, you guys, and no K-pop idol is safe from dehydration, let alone unwanted tans. But I digress. Now that we’ve exchanged our usual amount of pleasantries, I am writing you now because I have a confession to make. I know this may come off as a shock, but I feel the time has come for me to come out and say it. Sandara Park, gulp, I am your biggest fan.
I had heard through the grapevine that you’ve made the trip to Manila sometime in the past week, making the rounds from Showtime to Gandang Gabi Vice. It is a bit disconcerting to have heard it first from the news, was I wrong in expecting a few missives from your camp? A text, maybe? Don’t I still follow you on Twitter and Instagram? Are we still friends? I was hoping you would finally take the opportunity to introduce me to our three new kabarkadas: CL, Park Bom and Minji, otherwise known as the bad bitches of 2NE1. From your meager roots of In-Or-Out, to the meteoric rise of the global hit I Am The Best, you have seriously made it big and I could not be happier for you. I just wish we could all hang out. Am I asking for the world here? Don’t answer that.
But seriously, what gives — who was the first person to defend you online when you came out onstage with Vegeta’s hairstyle? Who championed the cooling benefits of that undercut you got for 2NE1’s “I Love You” round of promotions? And most of all, who deigned to not make fun of you for wearing Freego that one time? Newsflash! It was me. Right now, I know it’s raining Balmain and KTZ, Jeremy Scott to Givenchy, but I hope underneath all of your Fendi furs and Moschino, you can find a teensy little space for me in your precious little Chrome Heart. Or, Hearts.
Shocker, but I paid good money to see you perform tonight. It is my Plan B if this letter does not find purchase. Just know I am not going as your best friend but as your #1 fan. And though I do not belong to any of the pertinent fan clubs, I will be the one cheering for you the loudest. All or Nothing.
Always and forever, my pambansang krung-krung,Melissa Hicks